I should've been riding my bike or motorcycle yesterday. I was recovering instead. For those of us who believe we control our own destinies, this story might not help.
I ran a red light Thursday morning and slammed into another car. I don't have any excuse but that I had a moment where I wasn't paying attention before I noticed I was up against a red light going 35 mph. I had only a second to hit the brake and my foot went underneath it instead of on top of it. I couldn't get my foot out on time. It might've been too late anyway and I hit another car at speed limit. I feel like I was drop-kicked by an air-bag. My body hurts. A bit of inertia ripples through one's body when they run 35 to 0 in 1/2 second.
I'm alright and the other driver is alright. I had just dropped Monique off at work downtown and had begun the journey home (Journey meaning 7 miles). But what if I had stayed at the curb thirty seconds longer? What if we had left from home earlier than we had? I had to meet two of my friends at a local coffee shop and was hoping I could get there on time. What if the previous light had been red? I would've arrived at the next intersection forty-five seconds later. I was pretty tired and I was thinking about an apartment situation that's really out of my control...to a point. What if I wasn't thinking about the apartment?
The whole scene seems choreographed. I had to learn a lesson maybe?
Everything is a condition of something else. Nothing is free of itself nor the rest of what it can't help. I had this conversation with someone last week. A murder, for instance, is often predicated by a cheating spouse, a terrible childhood, an abusive father, an alcoholic parent, the loss of a job by an awful boss, a mental illness. Divorce can be predicated on similar things such as a terrible childhood, a cheating spouse, an abusive spouse, an alcoholic spouse, the fact that divorce is rampant in the immediate family. Do things I write affect your perspective about your world--ever? Or, are you able to act fully and freely outside the influence of someone else?
I'm alright and the other driver is alright. I had just dropped Monique off at work downtown and had begun the journey home (Journey meaning 7 miles). But what if I had stayed at the curb thirty seconds longer? What if we had left from home earlier than we had? I had to meet two of my friends at a local coffee shop and was hoping I could get there on time. What if the previous light had been red? I would've arrived at the next intersection forty-five seconds later. I was pretty tired and I was thinking about an apartment situation that's really out of my control...to a point. What if I wasn't thinking about the apartment?
The whole scene seems choreographed. I had to learn a lesson maybe?
Everything is a condition of something else. Nothing is free of itself nor the rest of what it can't help. I had this conversation with someone last week. A murder, for instance, is often predicated by a cheating spouse, a terrible childhood, an abusive father, an alcoholic parent, the loss of a job by an awful boss, a mental illness. Divorce can be predicated on similar things such as a terrible childhood, a cheating spouse, an abusive spouse, an alcoholic spouse, the fact that divorce is rampant in the immediate family. Do things I write affect your perspective about your world--ever? Or, are you able to act fully and freely outside the influence of someone else?
I'm alright. My spirit is a little down, but man am I thankful all of us are alright. I was in an accident five years ago. I was hit from behind on the interstate by a construction truck and by this time then I knew I had sustained quite a serious injury. Today, I'm confident that I haven't, praise God for that. Yet there's a lot to deal with yet and I'm not sure about what this will look like financially. We make choices--we should prepare for emergencies. Bottom line: I did it. I ran the damned red light. I take full responsibility for that.
And yet the accident still all seems choreographed, an inevitable dance. Maybe I'm thankful for that too. Lessons learned, lives lived, God is.
What's your opinion?
4 comments:
First, I'm glad that you and the other driver are both okay. Second, great post!
As you said, God IS. Yet we are always responsible; as you also said, "you are."
So, it is only money....
So it was only timing...
So, we stop and learn...
Time for us is linear and goes in one direction only; eternity waits and this is but (another) blip.
Glad you are both o.k.. If destiny had a part, maybe it was your destiny to be in this accident, and God's will that you weren't on a motorcycle when it happened.
Who really knows?
Anyway, glad you are all right.
Glad all is well.
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