CERTIFIED

I'll try to make this short. It seems my sister and her husband are waiting with my other sister and her daughter in the waiting room for their soon-to-be adopted baby boy! They are soon going to be certified mom and dad! Hot-diggity-dog for them. It won't be long before their lawn will be mowed for them, their house will be cleaned for them...well...they have to wait like 10 years for that, but hey, it's something to look forward to! I've just found out that they are indeed certified parents of a young Lucas John Beaumont. Certified. A certified Halleluja. 7 pounds and a few ounces and 20 inches of certified Halleluja! Now some certified parents are certified crazy...which leads me to my next point, and it's my first advice for my dear sister and brother-in-law. When Lucas turns 2, and you want to have a birthday party for him...don't register anywhere! Toys-R-Us doesn't need your money and people already know where to shop for 2 year old children! Something pink or something blue will just have to do.

It seems my sister received an invitation to a birthday party that said just that very thing..."We are registered at Toys-R-Us." Written in invisible ink was "We are certified arrogant, Certified bonkers, certified nutzo and Certified servants of the CEO of the family...a 2 year old! The kid's first field trip should be to the Ward where Brittany Spears will be, or the rehab center where Nicole Richey, Paris Hilton and Lindsey Lohan will be!

Smile pretty little 2 year old...you probably look good on camera...but if I may play the Ghost of Christmas future, let me show you what happens to those who have everything they could possibly want.